Work is busy. Sometimes I don’t have time to eat lunch. No one eats lunch at work. I work in consulting. It’s that kind of environment. A lot of sitting, very little talking, and even less eating. There are also some up sides like independence and flexibility. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Like any job, there are good days and bad ones. As for this week, I’m glad it’s finally over. I had get off of a conference call at 7pm. Pretty sure it went one for a couple of more hours without me!
I was exhausted. Peter went to get food at our favorite takeout place for dinner, Charcoal Kabob. We go there so often now they started to recognize us, well, mostly Peter, since he’s often on takeout duty. Over tonight’s dinner I suddenly had a flash back to the days after Owen was born. I hadn’t eaten anything since I went to the hospital the day before during labor. Around dinner time I asked Peter to get take out from Charcoal Kabob. It was the first time we had food from there. I felt resentful that Peter didn’t do more to bring me food during those days at the hospital. It felt somber rather than joyous. I don’t recall sharing any joy or hearing anything nice being said, not even “I love you.” Any joy I felt was private. Although those words continue to be missing between us, I utter them to Owen countlessly during each awaking moment.